NY Jets: A thank you letter to Santa

As fans of the NY Jets, here’s a special thank you letter to Santa for making dreams come true.

December 25th as we all know is the day Santa Claus visits children around the world to deliver presents and joy. What most folks don’t realize is in the NFL, Santa arrives in the off season to deliver free agents to all the teams that have managed their salary cap well. Santa checks his wish list and determines which teams have been naughty and nice.

Last off season, Santa was very kind to the Jets and their loyal fans. In fact, Santa had to make two trips to New York last season, as he couldn’t fit all those big men in his sleigh at once. As a result of Santa’s generosity, the Jets have rebounded from a 4-12 season to post a 9-5 record and a possible playoff berth. The Jet fan base couldn’t be more happier with Santa’s gifts from last year, so I thought he should get a late thank you note.

Dear Santa,

Thank you for Darrelle Revis. This is a present that just keeps on giving and one we are very grateful to get. The present appears to be well built and quite durable. We think it will be around to play with for quite some time. The four interceptions that our present has produced and the way it shuts down opposing wide receivers has made it one of the best presents we received under the tree last year!

Thank you for Brandon Marshall. Even though we had to offer a little bit in trade to get him, the present has proven it was surely worth bartering to get. We couldn’t be more ecstatic to get it! The present has most of us in awe of what it can do. Some of us were worried that the present was too old or too banged up to consider a great gift, but we were very, very wrong! The present has shown it still works as well as it ever has and as a result, it’s managed to assault the record books of the Jets. We aren’t certain how long we can continue to play with this gift, but we’re hoping it lasts a long time.

Thank you for Buster Skrine. We considered this gift as sort of a second tier present, but quickly realized that it was top shelf. Another present that appears to be very well built and durable. The present has only missed two games this season and has 53 tackles, seven pass defenses and an interception already. This present has convinced us it is worth keeping and we are truly grateful to have gotten it!

Thank you for Antonio Cromartie. This present is a bit old and banged up, but it’s proven to be a pretty good gift. We think we’ll only be able to play with this present for a year, but it has been fun to play with anyway. We played with it in 13 games, but it really hasn’t worked like we thought initially.

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It’s managed to produce 23 tackles, but it has also missed quite a few. The present has been adequate, as it has produced 12 pass defenses, but it hasn’t produced an interception. Don’t get us wrong Santa, we are grateful for the Cromartie present, but we might need to return it at season’s end.

Thank You for Marcus Gilchrist. This present has proven to be awesome, Santa. It has been played with in most every game and apparently all you have to do is wind it up and put it in place. This present seems to do it all Santa, and we are truly grateful to get it. It is another present we think we’ll be playing with for a long time. The present has produced 70 tackles, seven pass defenses and three interceptions! We haven’t had a safety gift like this in quite some time, and as fans we couldn’t be happier to have it!

Thank you for James Carpenter. This present took us by surprise and may not have been what most of us were hoping for, but it has worked fairly well. It’s worked exceptionally well in the run game and has held its own against those really mean guys trying to hurt our quarterback. We’re likely to keep this present around for a while to play with, but we think we might have to go shopping for its replacement before long. Don’t get us wrong Santa, this gift is worth having, and we are happy to have it, but we may need an upgrade down the line.

Thank You for Ryan Fitzpatrick. I know he wasn’t exactly a gift, and we had to barter a bit to get him, but we’re thankful that you allowed us to get him at a bargain price. The present looked a little old and crippled when we got it, but it has truly begun to shine as our season progressed. The present has proven it can win games, and though it started off a little rusty, the old thing really does bring a lot of to offer. It’s been fairly efficient and hasn’t malfunctioned very often as of late. The beat up old gift has really surprised most of us by throwing for over three thousand yards and adding 26 touchdowns to our football team! We still aren’t sure if we’ll have it to play with next year, but many of us are surely hoping so! We can’t thank you enough for this surprisingly productive and bearded gift!

Santa, Jet fans couldn’t be more grateful for the gifts you provided us! Most of the presents have worked very, very well. Of course there were a few presents we had to throw away, but most of them were recycled by other teams anyway. It’s our hope that we can continue to play with your gifts into the NFL Playoffs and we’re hoping they work even better when and if we get there! Either way Santa, your presents have allowed us to turn our football team around and we love them all! Thanks from the bottom of our hearts!

Jet Fans Everywhere

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Now many don’t believe in the “Magical Fat Guy” or the whole NFL gifting process, but this season it’s hard not to believe after all the wonderful presents we received. For those that would rather live in “reality,” then your gratitude should go out Mike Maccagnan. Maccagnan might just turn out to be the Jets’ version of Santa but for us long time Jet fans we know that general managers normally possess that sort of magic! I for one believe in you Santa! So thanks for Maccagnan, Bowles and Gailey too!

Merry Christmas all! To all my loyal readers, I send my appreciation. You folks have been a joy to write for. Your contributions to our discussions of all things Jets has been a true gift! So, from my family to yours, we wish you a happy holiday season.

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