Jan 22, 2015; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick makes a statement regarding deflated footballs in the AFC Championship game during a press conference at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Stew Milne-USA TODAY Sports
We all know by now that “Deflate Gate” is a really strange situation. Never before, at least that I can remember, did we have a scandal about the weight of the footballs during the game. We have one now. I have talked at length about the NFL and their pathetic “investigation” to date. But the situation took at even stranger turn when Bill Belichick scheduled an impromptu press conference to talk about “what he learned”.
Everyone was commenting on Twitter, so I had to go to the Patriots website and watch the video. I did. It was arrogant, it was dismissive, and it insulted the intelligence of football fans everywhere. I had to rub my eyes while listening to it, because I couldn’t believe it was real.
First of all, it was violin time when he came out to speak. Jets fans are familiar with impromptu talks from Belichick, written on napkins. But, first we hear a diatribe about how much time he spent on this and about all the things he learned about. We heard a summary of his resume, as if that had anything to do with anything. All that was missing was the sobbing in the background.
Then he goes into this speech about texture and feel of the football. Yes, the quarterback is going to want a certain “feel” to the football, just like a pitcher would in baseball. However, just so we are clear, Belichick, it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MATTER IN QUESTION! I’m very happy that Tom Brady feels a difference in the football texture, but I don’t really care, and anyone looking for the TRUTH doesn’t care either! The question is about the WEIGHT OF THE FOOTBALL! NOT THE TEXTURE! Does Bill Belichick think he can confuse everyone, and it will just go away? Absolutely not.
Then he told us how he went all “Bill Nye the Science Guy” on us by creating an experiment. Belichick talked about the preparation that the balls go through on game day, and that they simulated that procedure. He gave us this brilliant quote:
I would say that our preparation process for the footballs is what we do.
Really? Thanks for that brilliant revelation, because I thought that their preparation was something that Boston College did, so I am glad he explained what their preparation means. Come on Belichick, come back to us. Please.
So in that simulated environment, Belichick and company went through the process of prepping the balls for the game, and having them out on the field for an extended period of time, as they would be during the game. He acknowledged that they went down 1.5 pounds per square inch, and gained back one half pound upon returning to the controlled environment inside. That’s all well and good Belichick, but it only begs more questions. WHY DID 11 BALLS WEIGH TWO POUNDS UNDERWEIGHT? HUH?
He seemed to enjoy talking about “atmospheric conditions”, like Bill Belichick all of a sudden was Al Roker. It actually was comical to me. I agree, the conditions are going to affect the weight of the ball. But it is not going to take 11 BALLS TWO POUNDS UNDER, WHILE LEAVING ONE INTACT! AND WHAT ABOUT THE COLTS FOOTBALLS? HOW COME NONE OF THEM WERE OFF? HOW ABOUT ANSWERING THAT ONE, BILL?
Belichick also questioning the officials, stating he didn’t know what they did with them. He might not, but by saying that, he is accusing Walt Anderson of lying when he stated what he did. Doesn’t the league frown upon that? I guess not when the Pope pulls down his hood to speak.
But wait, there’s more.
Jan 22, 2015; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick makes a statement regarding deflated footbalsl in the AFC Championship game during a press conference at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Stew Milne-USA TODAY Sports
At no time were any of our footballs prepared anywhere other than in the locker room or in an area very close to that – never in a heated room or heated condition. That has absolutely never taken place to anyone’s knowledge or anyone’s recollection. That just didn’t happen.
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Anyone else see the stupidity in this? First of all, this never says that the balls were not prepared outside! We don’t need a controlled environment to let air out. Secondly, “to anyone’s recollection”. Did you really think that during an internal investigation, someone was going to stand up and say, “Yes Bill, I deflated each ball”? Come on now, stop it.
Incidentally, nobody cares whether or not his quarterbacks could identify deflated footballs in a lineup. This is not relevant to the conversation. Next!
We won’t even talk about the differences in football, and gauges, because it means nothing. Now, here is another pithy quote from Pope Belichick:
When we hand the footballs to the officials, the officials put them at whatever they put them at, but let’s just say it’s 12.5, that’s where they put them, then the air pressure at that point from then on until the end of the game, we have no knowledge of.
Really, huh? Didn’t you just finish telling us about gauges? All you need is a gauge and a tool to either inflate or deflate the football. IT’S NOT THIS COMPLICATED! Belichick is clearly tired at this point, getting less and less creative with this “story” he is telling the world.
Basically, Bill Belichick told us that there are other reasons the balls deflate, nobody remembers us doing it, go prove we did something wrong. It’s arrogant, it’s insulting to all of us, and it should infuriate any fan of the game, no matter what team you root for.
By the way, good to know he is not the “Mona Lisa Vito” of footballs. I guess they call that Belichick humor. But, there was certainly no more humor when someone asked him about Spygate, huh? Getting a little hot under the collar, Bill?
Good! Your move, Roger.