A New York Jets Fan’s Christmas Letter To Woody Johnson
Oct 12, 2014; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; New York Jets general manager John Idzik (left) talks with New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan (center) and Jets owner Woody Johnson before a game against the Denver Broncos at MetLife Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports
I am a big fan of the New York Jets. I’ve been a fan before you owned team and have remained faithful since you bought it! I’ve been a fan of the franchise since before they were the Jets! I rooted for them in their earliest days when they were known as the Titans and played their football in the old Polo Grounds! I love the Jets and would like to ask you bring me some gifts this holiday season.
I have been a good fan this year. I have written many articles concerning our beloved Jets, and I have watched every game with friends and family. Amazingly, I’ve only had to put $20.oo in the curse jar all year (25 cents per curse)! So, you can see I’ve been a very good fan, and I hope you can grant my wishes!!
I know it’s asking a lot, but this year I’d truly like a new general manager and head coach for the New Year! We’ve played with our Rex Ryan for years now, and he’s begun to fall apart at the seams. A replacement is sorely needed. I know you gave us John Idzik for the holidays a couple of years back, and I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but the present that you gave me is obviously defective. So, please send a new general manager who works correctly! I feel bad for Mr. Idzik, really I do, but I do think he would be much happier living in the “Land Of Misfit Toys”!
I really have been a loyal fan this year, and as such I’d also like to ask for a new scouting department as well! The Terry Bradway toy you gave us in 2001 has long ago lost its luster. You did try to repair it in 2006, but it never did work well. So, if I’m not being too demanding, I’d like a much better version this year for the holidays!
I surely don’t want to inconvenience you at this time of year, I know you are very busy right now. With all the NYC Christmas parties thrown by your millionaire friends, I can hardly imagine you have time for my letter. While I’m asking though, I’d truly love a new coaching staff to go along with the new head coach. I think that would be a marvelous present!! Just so you know, I really love the Karl Dunbar present though, maybe you could see a way of letting me keep that one? I’d really appreciate it!
Jan 31, 2014; New York, NY, USA; New York Jets owner Woody Johnson attends the press conference for NFL commissioner Roger Goodell at Rose Theater in advance of Super Bowl XLVIII. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports
Now I know you won’t be able to deliver this all in one night, but if you could bring me the rest of my wishes before next season, I’d remain truly your greatest fan! I’d like a new QB to start the season. I don’t care where you find him, but it would be the highlight of the year if you could get me a competent one! The last several you have given, haven’t been very good, not that I’m ungrateful, I just know you can do much better!
Dec 21, 2014; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; New England Patriots corner back Brandon Browner (39) defends a pass intended for New York Jets wide receiver Eric Decker (87) in the end zone during the fourth quarter at MetLife Stadium. The Patriots defeated the Jets 17-16. Mandatory Credit: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports
Last year the presents weren’t very good, so I’d like some replacements for the broken parts! First, I’d like a real NFL cornerback! I know you tried, but the latest corner back toys seem to be broken, and the replacements were knockoffs! I’m not asking for too much I hope, but this one is important! I don’t think I could be such a good fan next year without at least one good cornerback!
I’d also like a box of wide receivers for the holidays! It’s not that you haven’t given me a bunch of them in the past several years! You have been very generous, but the guy that is buying your presents, must have been shopping at the dollar store last year! I didn’t get much use out of any of them this year, and hold little hope they will be any better next year. Eric Decker has been good, and I’d ask that I be allowed to keep him though. There should be plenty of good ones in the stores this year, so please consider my request!
A pair of guards would be a wonderful present, and if there is room in your Cadillac, a tackle or two would be appreciated as well. Your offensive line presents given years ago were wonderful, but sadly they are beginning to wear out! A new Offensive Line in the next couple of years would be a life saver for me!! It might be a tight squeeze in the back seat, but the Tackles could probably ride in the trunk! Either way, if you could bring those, it would make my holidays complete!!
Next up I’d like to ask for the biggest present you could possibly give to Jets fans! I’d like you to once again lower your ticket prices, it would fill your stadium and return the game of football to the average working guy. Attached to this gift I’d like a Christmas card ( I love Christmas Cards), the card should read: “As an apology to all Jets fans, and in the spirit of giving, I am suspending the PSL’s until further notice!” I think that would make the greatest gift you’ve ever given me!! I know it’s a lot to ask, but I think Jets fans deserve this one after this season!
Thank you for everything! I’m patiently waiting! The holiday decorations are up! You can deliver my presents to Florham Park, no need to track me down!
Merry Christmas Mr. Johnson!
Ok, guys. The letter is in jest. No need to bash me, or take it serious! It’s just my way of wishing Jets fans everywhere; A Blessed, Safe, Holiday Season!!
With the right presents under the tree, we’ll have something to root for next year! If you’d like to send a letter of your own, I’ll gladly add yours to mine! Just let me know what you want from Woody in the comment section! Let’s talk Jets football!!
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