Fantasy Football: Top 10 fun awards for your league


Jan 31, 2014; New York, NY, USA; General view of the Walter Payton Man of the Year finalist awards during a press conference at Rose Theater. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Every year fantasy football leagues begin and end with all sorts of drama in between. We choose witty names, suffer through drafts and smack talk for months until a champion is crowned. In the spirit of America’s fondness for giving everyone a trophy, I’m encouraging every fantasy commissioner to award each owner with his or her personal award.

Need some ideas? Here’s the top ten ones that fantasy owners would absolutely love. I’m sure you have all of these in your league, so award them. It’s the least you can do, especially for the losers who don’t see any of the money pot.

Next: 10. The Con Award

Aug 12, 2015; New York, NY, USA; New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady enters federal court for a hearing over the legality of Brady

10. The Con Award

Let’s get this one out of the way first. We all know this one. He’s super excited for the league, tells you all about his mock drafts and how he plans to take home the big bucks.

Draft party comes along, everyone’s feeling good (because of the beers) and there he is, snacking and drinking away. It’s almost time to pay into the pool.

He doesn’t have the cash, but he’s good for it before Week 1. You feel bad for him so you let him stick around. Fast forward to fantasy playoffs, and he still hasn’t paid up. Congrats champion! The con has conned you out of the money towards your winning pot.

Next: 9. The Oracle Award

Jan 31, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, USA; New York Jets former quarterback Joe Namath on the red carpet prior to the NFL Honors award ceremony at Symphony Hall. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

9. The Oracle Award

You’ve spent countless hours analyzing every player under the sun, trying to nail down who the sleepers are and who the busts are.

Surprise! You drafted all the busts. How could you not have seen this coming?

“Geno Grigio” over there seems to have hit the nail on the head with all those head-scratching picks and waiver pickups. Did he have some crystal ball? Magic lamp? Is he the oracle?

Next: 8. The Peacekeeper Award

Jun 1, 2015; Tempe, AZ, USA; Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald during practice at organized training activities at the Cardinals Training Facility. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

8. The Peacekeeper Award

Never the one to smack talk to anyone, always keeping the peace among fantasy football owners. This one moves quietly through the league, only speaking up to congratulate others on great wins and awesome pickups.

We hate to love them, but as the level-minded among the knuckleheads, he relatively kept the peace especially in the office leagues.

What a true sportsman, he deserves an award just for being able to handle all the highs and lows throughout the fantasy football season.

Next: 7. The William Shatner Award

Jan 31, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, New York Giants general manager Mike Maccagnan on the red carpet prior to the NFL Honors award ceremony at Symphony Hall. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

7. The William Shatner Award

He’s got the offer you can’t refuse. He seduces you with points already earned and future earning potential. He’ll provide you with charts and a slideshow if he has to. He’s the “Price-Line Negotiator.”

Even if it’s a bum deal, you inevitably buy into what he’s selling. You’re an Eskimo, and he just sold you snow.

There’s always the guy who gets what he wants, no matter what it takes.

Next: 6. The Insanity Award

Oct 26, 2014; Cincinnati, OH, USA; Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh yells from the sidelines during the second half against the Cincinnati Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium. The Bengals won 27-24. Mandatory Credit: Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports

6. The Insanity Award

“Good morning,” you politely say to this fellow fantasy owner as you both enter the elevator on your way up to the office.

“Man, I can’t believe I lost this week! Screw this man I’m not doing anything other than checking the waiver wire and free agents today. Who’s your running back again? Are you open to trades? How’d your quarterback do?! IS IT SUNDAY AGAIN YET?!?!!?!,” he rather impolitely replies. He’s said more about fantasy than you’ve said about anything all before you can get to the Keurig machine.

There’s always the guy who gets way too into fantasy football and it consumes him to the point of no return. It’s insane, he can’t competently finish the season. Help him breathe a little easier with a nice little trophy.

Next: 5. The Rookie of the Year Award

Aug 22, 2015; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. (13) walks off the field after beating the Jacksonville Jaguars 22-12 at MetLife Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Danny Wild-USA TODAY Sports

5. The Rookie of the Year Award

Contrary to what this award usually says about its recipient, this is to highlight the noob of the group. It’s his first time in fantasy and boy does it show in everything they do.

Everyone chimes in even before the draft with all sorts of unsolicited and bogus advice. Everyone wants to take advantage of him

He falls for all of it without blinking an eye. Way to go rookie, with your weekly negative fantasy points.

Next: 4. The Hollow Man Award

Sep 3, 2015; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Tim Tebow (11) in the huddle against the New York Jets during the fourth quarter of a preseason game at MetLife Stadium. The Jets defeated the Eagles 24-18. Mandatory Credit: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

4. The Hollow Man Award

This is the flip side to the con award. It’s his even darker twin.

He signed up, then auto-drafted every single pick in your fantasy draft. The auto-deities even decide to grant him an amazing lineup. You call, text, smoke signal and no response. His team never changes. His entire lineup is injured and still starting.

Now you’re out another $100 towards the pot because of this guy. He’s invisible but still there. Always.

Next: 3. The Britannica Encyclopedia Award

Aug 29, 2015; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; New York Jets quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick (14) throws a pass during the first half of their game against the New York Giants at MetLife Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

3. The Britannica Encyclopedia Award

Holy cow, this guy is a walking, talking, living, breathing in the flesh Google search bar. There’s not a stat he doesn’t know or a publication he can’t quote.

Forget the internet, if he’s willing to share the info, just go right to this guy. Take him to happy hour, fill him up so he can fill you in.

Make this the biggest trophy other than the championship. His memory is seriously impressive.

Next: 2. The Loyalty Points Award

Jan 31, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Baltimore Ravens former linebacker Ray Lewis shows off his Super Bowl ring on the red carpet prior to the NFL Honors award ceremony at Symphony Hall. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

2. The Loyalty Points Award

Because these are the only points he’s getting, there has to be something for a fantasy owner like this. He’s so blindly loyal to his hometown team that he drafts them all and trades for them all. And names his team after his favorite team so there is no confusion.

There’s nothing worse than drafting with your heart because usually, the heartbreak hits you twice as hard both in reality and fantasy football.

This guy can’t stand the thought of rooting for another team or player, especially if they’re going up against his hometown team. It’s blasphemy to him. Playing him this week? Chalk that up with a win. Engrave team logo on his loyalty trophy.

Next: 1. The Hangover Award

Nov 30, 2014; Orchard Park, NY, USA; Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon (12) stretches prior to the game against the Buffalo Bills at Ralph Wilson Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports

1. The Hangover Award

Oh Sundays. How we love your welcoming embrace to sleep in until…

Uh oh. It’s 2:30pm and this guy is just getting up, games are already underway and his No. 1 wide receiver is off in London with a 9:30am start time. Sure, he could’ve set his lineup early, but he didn’t. He’s out partying since Friday night. Where’s this guy’s priorities?

He let choice select adult beverages cloud his judgement to the point where he forgot to charge his cell phone and can’t even log into his fantasy football app to do anything really.

Let his trophy serve as a constant reminder for next year.

Next: Fantasy Football 2015 Profile: QB Ryan Fitzpatrick

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