Chanukah: Eight Crazy Nights of New York Jets: Night Four

Fourth night my friends. Happy Chanukah to all of our readers that celebrate the holiday. Hope the time with your friends and family has been wonderful.

For anyone that hasn’t been following, we are doing a gift for each of the eight nights of Chanukah, Jets related of course. But, since the Jets aren’t giving me gifts, these are the gifts I would WANT for each night, set up in a hypothetical Chanukah that I receive each. So far, I have been given:

a peaceful breakup with Mark Sanchez.

a voucher for a wide receiver in the first round of the next draft.

and a letter from John Idzik promising that the team won’t choose a fullback in the draft for a minimum of two years.

Now for the fourth gift.  The menorah has been lit, and we head over to the pile of presents from the family.  We go, however, to the green box, as we know that one is from the Jets.  We open it, and what do we see?

BARBED WIRE, WITH ELECTRICAL CORDS

As you can imagine, I am confused by this gift.  What the heck am I going to do with electrical cords and wire?  But, I noticed a pamphlet with the cords, labelled “instructions”.

Open the pamphlet and the idea becomes clear.  The instructions say to wrap this wire around the Jets practice facility.  Once wired, it will keep any negative beat reporter outside the facility.  If Manish were to try to get in with this fencing around….WHAM!  He gets buzzed.  ESPN, or whomever else would be showing up to cause problems, will get an electric shock, one that won’t damage the person, but it will be far too annoying to continue the behavior.

Now THIS gift is my favorite.

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